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Afterglow - Ravine Often it comes to me before sleep the worry of what my father thought just before dying into the swirling water around him. I wonder as the old, crowded bus crashed through the railings, its wheels howling in fear, spinning wildly, if my father knew there was a death, a final one, stuck into the floor of the river in the lonely ravine in front of him. Did he scream as the people and suitcases and words and regrets and promises tumbled over and over, behind, in front, under, over him? And when he got wet, did he remember his childhood, when he first learnt to swim, did he at first glide on the cold water waves, before this blood, his moustache and beard froze? I want to know. It is my right. I am his son. At least you mother fucking, son of a bitch of a God, let me cradle his body in my arms so that some warmth may return to it. It is his right not to lie on a floor of echoes at the feet of my mother half naked with illiterate military policemen hovering over him. I hope his soul is etched into the walls of the ravine. If not, I will carve it on the foreheads of the ghosts crying there. By Kerem Durdag Afterglow - father I remembered my father again found my last letter to him unread the waters in which he drowned haven flown off a cliff not touching the edge of the paper on which I wrote funny, I thought, how his absence drenches my life and my mothers her hand pressing on my shoulder, her soul weighing on mine the sorrow of not telling him how he hurt us dripping in rivulets of regret into our veins, his face in old photographs saying to me, this is the way you are going to get old and I know he is somewhat right once again I am wounded, drifting onto a shore I left behind long ago, the redness of my blood tracing the outline of my glide across prayers and conversations, this never ending tug at the edges of my life, all those words that were never spoken lying unused and forgotten on the desert where the ruins of Mohenjedaro blink at the appearance of archeologists you know, it is sometimes just too hard to let it be on those days when you return to be under the sky where he was your father. By Kerem Durdag |